Athiest Mis-fire

The Witch :
that athiest thing you sent me this morning
highlights one of the reasons why I don’t always like identifying myself as an atheist
because, I’m anti-organized religion. I think organized religion is detrimental to societal evolution. But I’m not against spirituality that’s unorganized and organic. I think being completely against all things spiritual puts a damper on the imagination, which impedes evolution
The Baptist Athiest :
yep, I mean I find being connected with the universe to be very spiritual … but some people would look at that and be like ‘meh, whatev’. It’s more of a, whatever float’s ur boat’ type thing … just dont be a dick
The Witch :
exactly
The Baptist Athiest :
and atheists like that are being dicks
The Witch :
and that’s why atheists have such a reputation for being arrogant
because that type of atheist doesn’t just shit on the pricks who disagree with them, they shit on some intelligent cool people who mostly agree with them as well
The Baptist Athiest :
yea
shit is gross, I had a miss fire yesterday when wiping
The Witch :
EWWWWWW
The Baptist Athiest :
man …. yuck. Thank the universe for soap!!
The Witch :
T
M
I
The Baptist Athiest :
LOL

Nuclearism

The Witch :
I’m going to finish my book about hackers, be back in a bit
The Baptist Atheist :
loser!
The Baptist Atheist :
my name is The Witch and I read ready wordy words
The Witch :
wordy words ftw!
The Baptist Atheist :
btch
I WANT TO BDOGAME
and nap
The Witch :
WORDSSSSS
The Baptist Atheist :
BDOGAMES
The Witch :
WORDS
The Baptist Atheist :
BDOGAMES
The Witch :
so what do you know about Julian Assange?
The Baptist Atheist :
funny last name
The Witch :
he looks half albino
The Baptist Atheist :
yeah probably, + full funny last name
The Witch :
I’m reading this book

http://www.amazon.com/Underground-Suelette-Dreyfus/dp/0857862596/ref=sr_1_6?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1354039524&sr=1-6&keywords=underground

The Baptist Atheist :
under
the ground?
The Witch :
Underground
they put a free digital copy on project gutenburg
The Baptist Atheist :
more like gaygital copy
The Witch :
the first chapter is about hacking NASA in 1989
The Baptist Atheist :
easy Read the rest of this entry »

Teenage Witches (oh, I mean Exorcists)

Teenage Exorcists - Making Exorcism Sexy

 

The Baptist

Anderson Cooper video of the Teenage Exorcists

wow

video

of the exorcism chicks

omg, they sound so fake

… rehursed

The Baptist

Apparently they did an exorcism on a friend of theirs at a sleep over … because she had “fallen away from God”

The Witch

uggh watching them now

The Witch

“you can see the evil” bleh

The Baptist

haha woah … anderson said they seemed coached too

lol I didnt watch that second vid

but thats what I said too

The Witch

they seem to have memorized the correct generic responses

The Baptist

wow very memorized

third video

The Baptist

the paper and ink stuff

“its just paper and ink, but through our faith it is so much more”

Like what you were telling me the other day about how that is a very similar idea in witchery

The Witch

oh, yeah lol, a lot of their ideas about protective talismans are occult theories that they’re trying to apply to a christian philosophy

The Witch

because I’ve fallen away from god, I bet those girls could see pure evil in my eyes

The Baptist

I’d poke them with my evil

The Witch

I’m sure you would

The Baptist

can you imagine being married to them? … sects would be all chaotic with crosses and whatnot

The Witch

lol

The Baptist

“Oh yes! … put that cross in my boot!”

The Witch

LOL

hahahaha

We’re back

Well, I hope we’re back. We always say we need to post something then never pull it off. Here’s giving it a shot.

The Baptist:
what
is the meaning
of life
- walking poop despensers
we live to poop
that is it
The Witch:
indeed

…. Some time goes by

The Witch:
so have you found any meaning in life other than mullets and poo?
The Baptist:
ejaculation
The Witch:
…….
The Witch:
that seems irrelevant
The Baptist:
irrelevant?
no way
The Witch:
yes way
The Baptist:
busting one is very important
we’ve discussed the importance
The Witch:
important yes but meaningful? nah
The Baptist:
oh for sure
thats when most poems are written
The Witch:
heh
………
The Baptist:
think of a poem
and I’ll tell you when it was written
The Witch:
ok a poem – 23d psalm
The Baptist:
absolutly written when nut busting
The Witch:
yeah but that was an easy one… how about Elizabeth Barret Browning’s “Let me Count the Ways”?
The Baptist:
yep, busting a nut
The Witch:
The Battle Hymn of the Republic
The Baptist:
double penatration nut bust
The Witch:
The Song of Solomon
The Baptist:
facial
The Witch:
EWWW
BLOCK
The Baptist:
lol man this is so wrong
The Witch:
lol!
in the wrongest way possible

Tornado or Penis?

The Baptist:
crazy
http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=2000255896880&comments
thats from today
The Witch
wow
I’ve never saw one that big
the ones I’ve saw have always been smaller
The Baptist:
that’s what she said

Our Very First Contact – Ever

Our very first contact ever, via email. The Baptist turns in The Witch due to an extreme hatred of case numbers.

This is an email thread, so it’s  best to start at the bottom.

————————————————-

From: The Witch
Sent: Some time in 2011
To: The Pentecostal
Cc: The Baptist
Subject: FW: General Product

 

LOL! This was the first contact ever between me and The Baptist.  He installed a product I supported.  Me and this programmer just had a breakthrough on how something worked with it, so I thought I’d let him know and he immediately forwards it to his manager – asking why I was telling him that – basically reporting me for contacting him.  AND THE REST IS HISTORY!!! :D

 

The Witch
Signature-ey type things
Place Of Employment
Words To A Random Spell
(Don’t Read This – It’s Secret)
Email [email protected]

—————————————————

From: The Baptist’s Boss
Sent: Same day but later
To: The Baptist
Subject: RE: General Product

 

I guess in case you didn’t know about this and that.  I think she just thought she was being helpful.

—————————————————

From: The Baptist
Sent: Immediately upon receiving
To: The Baptist’s Boss
Subject: FW: General Product

 

Why is she telling me this?

 

The Baptist
Signature-ey type things
Place Of Employment
Sits in the back

Email: [email protected]

—————————————————

From: The Witch
Sent: Some Day threeish years ago
To: The Baptist
Subject: General Product

Just thought I’d let you know that we’ve got the default thingy for general product up and running at Client Name.  I didn’t know enough about thingy settings and this and that to figure it out, so some guy took a look at it and got it going.  The case number with his notes is 7 if you should need them.

The Witch
Signature-ey type things
Place Of Employment
Words To A Random Spell
(Don’t Read This – It’s Secret)
Email [email protected]

The Illuminati’s Little Secret

TheBaptist

lol

man

this has been a weird week for convos

TheWitch

yeah, first I’m MIA then you are, and there’s so much weirdness in between

with the retinas and creaps and such

and the illuminati

I think Denton’s actually illuminati

and he trys to put out all these conspiracy theories about the illuminati doing stuff to throw everyone off the train of what he/they are REALLY doing

which is fixing the world series and superbowl and cashing in on the brackets.

TheBaptist

LOL

nice

*BLAG* – What the illumati really does

TheWitch

woot!

what’s our name for Denton?

TheBaptist

Joseph Smith

wait

thats for Joseph Smith

TheWitch

tinfoilhat

TheBaptist

maybe JC denton

JC Denton

TheWitch

who’s that?

Mr. Tinfoilhat

TheBaptist

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/JC_Denton

TheBaptist

cuz JC Denton is like the main enemy of the illumanti in the game Deus Ex

BAD ASS GAME

TheWitch

lol, kewl

TheBaptist

like … if it was in movie form I’d tell you to platch it

TheWitch

platch?

TheBaptist

play/watch

TheWitch

LOL!

(and a new word is born)


(Secret Code)

The Witch
MP
lol
The Baptist
oh … yeah and that
lol
I was like …. “oh yeah … you sexie gnome … kill that orc … kill it”
The Witch
LOL!!!
The Baptist
lol were going to have to come up with a quick reference guide for our readers
translating our ….. words
The Witch
Like our own SMS guide.  heh
The Baptist
lol yeah
The Witch
MP = Manual Process = …

(See the guide to the right, more will be added as time goes on)

 

Sandy Mullins [8:59 AM]:

MP

lol

Brian Landers [8:59 AM]:

oh … yeah and that

lol

I was like …. “oh yeah … you sexie gnome … kill that orc … kill it”

Sandy Mullins [8:59 AM]:

LOL!!!

Brian Landers [9:00 AM]:

lol were going to have to come up with a quick reference guide for our readers

translating our ….. words

Sandy Mullins [9:00 AM]:

Like our own SMS guide.  heh

Brian Landers [9:00 AM]:

lol yeah

Sandy Mullins [9:01 AM]:

MP = Manual Process = …

No Smoking!

The Baptist
Im saying I dont think that the govnment should interefear in ANY work invironment
when it comes to smoking rules
cuz if they say “no smoking at work” … then there is also no smoking at bars … cuz a bar is a work place
The Witch
yeah, it should be up to the owner of the business, and then its up to the employees if they chose to work in the environment the owner provides.
The Baptist
and if you say no smoking at bars
then you’re going to have bars loose business/money … hurt financially … and leave the town
killing jobs
The Witch
eventually they’ll just have to outlaw cigarettes with the arguments they’re making
The Baptist
yep
and the cig companys kill over that crap
(CTheory … but wouldnt doubt it when were talking that kind of money)
CRAZY movie on that … where dude leaves a cig company at a high level
and signs this thing that he’ll keep his mouth shut
and he doesnt
and bad crap starts happening to him and his fam
… lol fictional
The Witch
lol
The Baptist
buttt … I wouldnt doubt that people with those dollar signs would do crazy crap to keep their buisness rollin
The Baptist
moral of the story … legalize pot
The Witch
obviously
(we have a rapist in linkin park)
*BLAG*
The Baptist
oh … blog …. sorry I thought you just threw up
The Witch
LOL!
and you were wondering what I’d just experienced so pleasurable as to induce a vomit?
The Baptist
lol aye
lol we were at the chinese place the other day
and Baptist Wife started tickling me
I HATE tickling
and I yelled at her … “I WILL throw up on you!!!”
The Witch
LOL!

 

Regina Spektor

Listen to her – She will get into your grey matter and never … ever … leave. (In a good way)

 

The Witch
I’D RATHER BE HOME WITH MY CATS!
The Baptist
meToo
wait arent you home?
and I dont ahve cats
The Witch
I am home with my cats, where I’d rather be.
but you won’t let me color
The Baptist (quote from separate convo)
Girl 1
lol
ill haveTo look her up on youtube
The Baptist
these words are weird …. -the calculation “you went into The kitchen cupboard, got your self another hour, and gave half of it To me”
Girl 1
yea weird..
lol
The Baptist
she gets into your brain waves
your … dark matter
Girl 1
lol
nice
The Baptist
The Witch came up with That a while back
and its so True
its insane
she Told meTo listenTo her … and I literally cant stop
ever
its either Wicked! or Regina
legit”
The Baptist
blue lips, blue veins,The color of our planet from far far away
The Witch
so far away I wish I had a folding chair for your wallet and sampson could come backTo bed and eat a slice of wonder bread…
The Baptist
WOOT!
the most human color
The Witch
lol!!!
The Baptist (to Girl 2)
blue lips, blue veins,The color of our planet from far far away
Sent at 30 on Monday
Girl 2 Horse shoe crab blood is blue and worth a lot of money…
The Witch
and The history books forgot about us andThe Bible didn’t mention us not even once

What is this?
Its a blog ... sorta. The Baptist and The Witch converse daily at work, and often it is a humorous situation. We will come here often and post our convos.
Featured Posts

Our First Post. The one with the idea.

Our Very First Conversation EVER!.

Characters

The Baptist
The Baptist's Wife
The Witch
Baldy (The Witch's husband)
The Pentecostal
Joseph Smith (The Mormon)
JC Denton (The Conspiracy Theorist)

SMS Guide (or whatever)

Blag = Blog
Sects = Sex
MP = Manual Process = Masturbation
Brackers = (Brackets)
lol = Laugh Out Loud
lOL = The Witch requires coffee to lawl properly
LoL = Making fun of the way Baldy lawls
LOL = Something actually funny, or acknowledgement of devotion to Lucifer Our Lord
Breaker-Downer = One who 'breaks down' lengthy texts
Platch = Watching someone play a video game
Wharilp = We Have A Rapist In Lincoln Park
Mormslim = A Mormon who is also a Muslim (cuz that would work ... right?)
Beech = White Leopard = Bitch
Missfire = Getting shit on your hands when wiping your ass. Yuck.

(Side note - If something is in brackers they are secret and YOU are not allowed to read it. So please skip over such things.)